You're Better Than You Think You Are

Today was just one of those days. You know? When everything that was bright and sunny in your life suddenly seems wrong. In fact, life seems wrong - you seem wrong. As much as I hate to admit that I have these days, I think it is important to, because we all do. For whatever reason, sometimes we just lose perspective, we lose focus, and we starting listening to, and even buying into, the subtle, sinister whisperings of the adversary. We discredit all of the wonderful things that we have and are - we forget. There is a talk by David S. Baxter that, if I am lucky enough, I try to remember on days like today. Here is one of my favorite sections:

Overcoming Feelings of Inadequacy by Elder David S. Baxter

"First, if we have subjected ourselves to a constant barrage of self-criticism, let us recognize that we are better than we think we are! Elder Maxwell counseled, “Some of us stand before no more harsh a judge than ourselves, a judge who stubbornly refuses to admit much happy evidence and who cares nothing for due process.” ⁴

When things go wrong in our lives, it is easy to lose all sense of perspective. We forget our divine inheritance, when we should remember that we come from heavenly parents who love us. We are impatient for instant solutions, when often it is the passage of time that will allow things to work out. We ignore or downplay our strengths and abilities, just at the time we should be recognizing and applying them. In Johnson Oatman Jr.’s hymn, written more than 100 years ago, we are advised, “Count your many blessings; name them one by one, and it will surprise you what the Lord has done.” ⁵

A characteristic of a depressed spirit is an over concentration on cares and concerns—an unwise wallowing in feelings of foreboding. What a difference it would make if, instead, we took account of our strengths, raised our eyes off the ground, and gave ourselves credit for how far we have already come and how much we have already achieved.

Let us recognize and make use of our talents, abilities, skills, and capacity instead of allowing these traits to be buried through self-criticism, forgetfulness, and disuse. Let us name our blessings one by one."

On days like today, it is so easy to get wrapped up in everything I am not. I get discouraged by my imperfections and then by the negative emotions that I feel about my imperfections. But you know what? God gives us weaknesses on purpose. They are a purposeful part of who we are. Therefore, I submit that we are, in fact, perfect in our imperfection. Knowing that Lord planned and prepared this life for each of us, we can trust that even when we don't do everything perfectly, we are exactly where we are supposed to be in the midst of a lifelong process of being refined and strengthened.  As one of my very dear friends has said, "You can't out dumb the Lord." Even if your choices or someone else's shifts your life from plan A to plan B, C, D, etc, the Lord can work with that! We are given weaknesses so that we may become humble. And what if, as we suffer about our imperfections, we are not "less than" or wrong or tragic, but are actually being made perfect? What if we could respect those thoughts and feelings as ones that are helping us to become aware of the necessity we have to rely on the atonement of Jesus Christ and not reject them (and ourselves) as unworthy and discouraging?  

What if, as we struggle with our imperfections (sins, character flaws, general humanity) we are actually progressing  just as the Lord would have us progress?  Don't get me wrong, dwelling on weaknesses is not what I am referring to here, but I think that feeling our lack of perfection, experiencing deep emotion and wrestling with weaknesses is a beautiful and sacred process that should be appreciated and not feared or looked down upon. 

I think that most of us can see this in the aggregate. Of course weakness and struggle are a part of the process. But so often, we fail to see it in the moment. What if we could respond to our own weaknesses with the same compassion that we show others, with a compassion like the one the Lord would show us always if we could convince ourselves to accept it? It is these very struggles that can turn our hearts to the Lord, bring us to Him, and allow us to progress in our journey to become more like Him.  So, maybe, you are just where you should be imperfections and all. In fact, I am sure of it. You are doing better than you think you are.